To Work or Not to Work!

I guess its been a long time coming, but finally I have a blog! I'm hoping this will help me stop talking to myself, or at least lessen it a bit. But beware, my thoughts come through thick and fast at times. So fast, my brain can't process them and I will just end up blurting things out all over the place, so they may not make much sense. Probably about as much sense as that intro just did LOL.

For those who don't know who I am, or much about me, here are the basics. I am a 40 year old, mother of 4 kids. My kids are 20, 19 and 2 and 1/2 yr old twins (boy and girl). I am single, I suffer from various ailments and I do not have a job.

I'm not working at the moment, not because I don't want to, but because I think the man upstairs is against me on that one! Here is why: To work full time, I would have to pay $300 for each kid in care, each week. Okay, that's $600 per week! Then there is the fact that my rent would increase to current market value....$300 per week. Now that's $900 per week...you following so far? Ok, next factor is that I have an autistic daughter, 19, who would need care in the mornings and afternoons. More money! I would also lose my benefits and therefore pay full price for all my medications, tests, doctors and specialist visits. So, without even blinking an eye, I am up well over $1000 per week! Hmmm, what kind of job could I do that paid more than that??

If those reasons aren't enough to explain why I don't work, here are some more.... I suffer from, Clinical Depression, Sjogrens Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Adenomyosis, Temporomandibular Joint Disorder and other various, colourfully named ailments!! There may be some people who have all these afflictions, or even a few and do work.....I applaud you!! There are varying degrees of pain and suffering, so not everyone can lead a normal life.

There are some who have joked that they would love to switch places with me because my life sounds so great....I can go shopping everyday, I can sit and watch Foxtel. I can go out for lunch. I can have a nap during the day. Why wouldn't you want my life? Sounds great doesn't it?

It's difficult when you have to give explanations, to people who ask you, why you don't have a job. Personally, I feel it's none of their business. However, this has not stopped people raising the question.

Recently, (and this is not the first time) I was put into a category where I was a 'single mother on the pension'. Tempers flared and questions were asked as to why 'they' have to pay taxes for people like 'me', who are on benefits. This really shits me! If you ever want to get me fired up, start on this topic and get ready for a fight!

I would gladly swap places with some of 'those' people. They can have my life of constant pain and interrupted sleep, taking pain and preventative medications, fighting extreme fatigue, headaches and nausea, diahorrea and constipation, stomach cramps, dry mouth and eyes, pain in my joints and muscles, lack of balance and co-ordination, memory loss and the list goes on. Oh and that's all in a day! And if that's not enough, throw in a 19year old Autistic child who has hissy fits and behavioural problems and 2 and a half yr old twins!....Would you still want to swap your life with mine? Go on, live in my shoes for a day!! I guarantee you would change your mind before the end of it :P